I’ve been a pro domme for coming up on 30 years. For a short bit when I had my daughter I retired and started doing kinky life coaching and BDSM education, even hosting my own weekly audio show for almost two years on O.school and writing my infamous how-to color book.
In the end, I missed hands on play too much to continue just doing education and when Mistress Viola and I opened Sub Rosa I dove back into real time play.
Part of that was missing play, and but a huge part was also just missing the company of other hot creative dominant women.
The other Pro Dommes I’ve had the pleasure to get to know over the years have been some of the fiercest, creative, most savvy business folks I have ever met.
And I lived in the Bay Area during the dot boom.
Not only do FemDoms, and other sex workers have to be very good at the actual hands-on work we do, we offer empathy and emotional labor. We have to be just the right amount of unapproachable and welcoming. We need to brag of pushing limits while remaining steadfastly ethical. We need to excel at branding. We have to figure out payment methods when the most popular will shut us down the second they realize what line of work we are in, and the others prey off that fact and charge us 20-50% of any payments processed. We navigate marketing in a world that shadow bans us and blocks us from most traditional marketing methods. We learn to do a lot of the business aspects on our own through trial and error because most business classes teach methods that don’t apply to our businesses. We hire tax people and lawyers who may or may not understand our business and sometimes end up educating these types of professionals about our business, or deflecting awkward and inappropriate questions while paying their hourly rate.
All this while existing in a world that sees us as a joke. Disposable.
And still we thrive. Because through it all, behind closed dungeon doors, our clients trust us to take them places they only fantasize about. To explore the darkest most taboo corners of their brains. To listen and play without judgement. To relive and reclaim parts of themselves lost to assault and childhood bullying. To just leave the everyday world behind for a couple of hours and escape into play and fantasy.
We help them feel normal. Less broken. Because they also live in a world where their fetishes and fantasies are seen as a joke.
So with every shadow ban (me. Currently on twitter) and every account that is shut down (My instagram in January) and every payment method that bans me (I’m banned from paypal for life even as part of a non-sex related business or for personal use) I, and all my sex working loved ones, pull ourselves up and carry on. Even if it takes a minute to mourn yet another loss. Yet another kick in the finances.
We fight harder. We stand taller. We find other ways to thrive.
Goddess Alexandra Snow is one of the most unstoppable forces of nature I’ve had to pleasure to call a friend.
We bonded over our love of FemDom community (and a natural 20 rolled from cleavage, but that’s another post for another time.) She is stunningly gorgeous, and intimidatingly smart. The content she creates is creative sadistic art for boners. And she has never ending energy for creating and contributing to the community I thrive in. Above is a picture from her 2022 FemDom retreat in Tulum Mexico. It was one of the most amazing weeks of my professional life connecting me with people and ideas that will feed my soul for the rest of the year.
And now she is creating something even more important to me.
The Autonomy Project is a 501c3 nonprofit whose mission is to foster respect and encourage personal autonomy at the intersection of LGBTQIA+, sex work, and alternative lifestyle communities.
I encourage you to click through and consider joining, volunteering your time and resources. Financial donations are the most in need right now. I’ve donated $500, which gets me on the wall of fame and infamy. I would of course love to have you all match (and exceed) my donation. Doing so is tax deductible, supports a cause close to my heart. If you do, please put my name in the comment of your donation and send me a copy of your receipt. I will send you a personalized audio naughty thank you note for any amounts $25 or higher.
This project will help normalize kink, BDSM, queerness, and gender expansiveness for all of us. Myself and many other talented educators will be teaching classes and leading workshops. I encourage you to join and sponsor your favorite sex workers as members. Large scale public efforts like this are the only way to make a difference for us all.
If nothing else, stay tuned for pictures from the grand opening. Myself and about 40 other pro dommes will be in attendance celebrating. There are a few tickets left if you would like to join us.
The post My Passion for FemDom Community appeared first on Princessa Natasha Strange.